


the fabric of your flesh

by intherubble



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-15 08:01:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/847194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intherubble/pseuds/intherubble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lu Han runs a thumb along the torn skin and this staggering wave of <i>angerfearworry</i> washes through him and he doesn’t know what to do with any of it because Sehun isn’t his in any sense of the word despite the <i>mineminemine</i> pounding in his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the fabric of your flesh

**Author's Note:**

> originally inspired by [this prompt](http://exopromptmeme.livejournal.com/4146.html?thread=1353522#t1353522) at the exopromptmeme. I played around with different werewolf/omega 'verse canon to suit my own purposes, left some ages intentionally vague, and there are mentions of luhan/others (kai, lay, xiumin, chen) and kris/tao.

Lu Han sometimes wonders if he should be more forlorn over the knowledge that he’s barren, if only visibly so for the benefit of the rest of the pack.  He knows every fertile omega is invaluable to the continued flourishing of their numbers and where there are numbers there is safety, every wolf knows. But this way, he gets the enjoyable parts of the heat (bouts of marathon sex) without the consequences (bloating, childbirth, parenthood). It certainly puts him at a lower rung in the hierarchy, and not that he isn’t ambitious, but when he has power, which _he will_ , he wants the others to know that he _earned it_ not because he was bred by someone who did.

Lu Han’s content to spend the beginnings of his maturity feeling out his own place in the pack, their alpha is young and lenient and has a soft spot for him which means he allows things like Lu Han coming along on hunts (Lu Han makes sure to give him justification for it by bringing home the biggest kills).

When his heats come Lu Han is seen to by the newly of age betas, not yet ready for the responsibility of mates or pups but virile and eager and Lu Han reaps the attention.

There’s Minseok for his first, the two of them having spent their childhood and adolescence together, one day in early spring they go from play tussling in a field to Lu Han feeling like there’s a fire consuming him from the inside, the burn only calming when he goes pliant to the hands on him and Minseok’s eyes flash amber. He ruts Lu Han into the grass for hours, their elbows and knees getting filthy and raw from the dirt and Lu Han’s never felt anything so fucking perfect in his life.

It’s a rainy afternoon when it hits him next, he and Yixing are lazing in his room with Yixing’s head on Lu Han’s lap as he strokes his fingers through the other’s hair, humming indistinct melodies and teasingly scratching behind his ears, murmuring how much of a _good boy_ he is. Yixing senses it before he feels it, eyes going bright and glassy, taking in air through his nose sharp then turning to scent at Lu Han’s belly. They don’t leave the room for the next two days, fucking slow and lazy until everything is a blur to Lu Han except the sweat dripping down Yixing’s throat and the _wantwantneed_ in his gut as Yixing presses his knees up to his chest and takes him again.

-

Lu Han does enjoy the responsibilities that come with being an omega in the pact, he helps look after pups while the alpha and older betas are away on hunts or during fights when they need someone who knows how to tear out a jugular to stay behind and protect the innocents. It satisfies his inclination for nurturing, while saving him from the bone deep terror only a parent knows when a pup is in danger.

-

It’s the middle of the night when Lu Han finds himself awake in bed, eyes blinking in the pitch black and _knowing_ something has happened, shifted. He sleepily pads down the stairs and hears the others beginning to stir as well.

Kris is standing in the foyer with hunched shoulders. And there’s a boy, under his arm.

Chanyeol steps up in front of Lu Han until Lu Han is meaningfully shielded behind his shoulder. Lu Han can see Chanyeol’s nostrils flaring and his eyes narrowing in the beginning of a snarl, knows Chanyeol’s running on instinct. It’s the same one that zinged under Lu Han’s skin before he even laid eyes on the boy. It’s an alpha.

He’s young, in his second if only first year of his teens.

The entirety of the pack is crowding down the stairs now, creeping in from the rooms on either side. Then Joonmyun emerges, his face looks drawn in a confusing amount of emotions and he shepherds Kris and the boy, who looks all of skin and bones, towards the kitchen. He shoots a quelling look over his shoulder that sends even Baekhyun and Chanyeol scurrying back towards their room. Lu Han lingers as long as possible, eyes on the shadows seeping under the closed kitchen door and wondering why his heart is pounding so hard.

-

They take the boy in. Most eyes go to Joonmyun, Kris’ understood successor, to see how he takes this. But Joonmyun adjusts with soft eyes and smiles and dignity. Being alpha had always been something he only talked about in far off whimsical terms like it would be happening in some world other than this one. He’d never had Kris’ steely discipline over the betas and the younger ones treated him like a play toy, Jongin and Zitao climbing over or napping on him whenever they fancied. It was an important role in it’s own right but not behavior the next leader of the pack should allow.

Sehun is sullen and withdrawn and Kris decisively shuts down any whispered questions of where he came from.

The boy interests Lu Han for reasons he can’t put words to, possibly just as a shiny new toy would (as seems to be the case with Jongin and Zitao, who have taken to poking and prodding at Sehun like he’s a game they just need to figure out the rules of) but the notion doesn’t sit right, like there’s something more to it. He keeps his distance at first, maintains a show of pack hierarchy until the boy figures out his place.

But Lu Han remembers being that age, terribly scared of the meaning of his identity, when everything felt huge and like the end of the world. So he’s not awfully surprised when he finds Sehun curled up by the hearth late one night, huddled in on himself and a soft whimpering carrying over the cackling of the fire.

Lu Han is careful to make enough noise as he shuffles into the room so the boy knows he’s there, frightened eyes whirling around to fix on Lu Han at the sound. Lu Han doesn’t say anything as he quietly settles into the corner of the sofa, pointedly fixing a blanket over himself and leaving the corner of it invitingly untucked at his side.

There are tear tracks staining Sehun’s face that he rubs furiously at, still peering curiously at Lu Han as he settles in as if to nap. Lu Han begins to softly hum the lullaby he sings to pups who have terrors in the night, closing his eyes and laying his head against the armrest.

He doesn’t have to wait long. A few minutes later there’s the muted sound of shuffling across thick carpet, a soft tugging on the blanket and Lu Han feels a warm boney weight settle against him. He tries not to ruin it by doing something silly like grinning but he curls his arm cautiously around Sehun, who’s all jutting knees and elbows, and gathers him closer.

-

Kris tersely tells him he’s being foolish when he finds them there in the morning and Lu Han honestly agrees. After that Sehun clings to Lu Han like a shadow and he can’t say he hadn’t expected it.

-

They watch the betas spar on the grassy knoll behind the house, Sehun pressed behind Lu Han, who technically shouldn’t even be there, playing with his fingers but eyes entranced on the wrangling bodies. Kris observes from the sidelines with his arms folded, occasionally biting out encouragement or advisement, and Lu Han whispers quietly about how one day Sehun will do the same.

He pours the boy towering glasses of milk in the kitchen, Kyungsoo puttering around fixing the pack’s dinner and sneaking Sehun cookies, watches fondly as the kid swallows it down so fast there’s a ring of white around his mouth he doesn’t bother to wipe away.

Most nights Sehun creeps out of his drafty single room into Lu Han’s, snuffling his way under the covers until his mop of straw hair is tucked under Lu Han’s chin. Lu Han knows he shouldn’t be encouraging him, wrapping him up in his arms like he’s a precious gem, or even allowing the behavior at all, but Kris hasn’t put a stop to it yet and Lu Han tends to enjoy indulging himself.

The thought of pushing Sehun away distresses Lu Han for reasons he can’t explain, if only because Sehun is beginning to come into himself around the others and he selfishly worries it would be a setback for the boy.

The winter thaws to spring and Lu Han comes down to breakfast to find Sehun and Jongin tussling over the last piece of bacon, peels of giggles spilling from them.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun take him into the woods to teach him to track prey. They return to the den late that night and Sehun is covered in dirt and smears of dark blood and dumps a small buck at Lu Han’s feet. He’s grinning so hard it looks like it would split his face in two if he wasn’t trying so hard to suppress it. Lu Han ruffles a hand through Sehun’s hair, feeling pleased and proud, and Sehun ducks into it, blood under the skin staining his cheeks red.

He studies the texts Joonmyun gives him: maps of their territory, histories of pack relations, philosophies on war and leadership; whining with a pout for Lu Han to sing to him when he buries his face in the dusty pages of books and pleads headache.

-

The days of the summer bleed into each other and in the late humid days of August Lu Han enters his heat while Sehun is away with Kris meeting the Alpha of the neighboring pack. Lu Han enjoys the long languid days with Jongdae seeing to him in his bed, oblivious to the commotion Sehun caused when he returned home and was told he wasn’t to see Lu Han. It took three betas to hold him back and he bloodied Yixing’s lip.

-

It’s barely two years since Sehun came to them that Sehun starts going through puberty in earnest. There’s acne spotted down his chin and he’s mischievous and brooding by turns. He still sneaks into Lu Han’s bed but his shoulders are so broad by now it’s a struggle for them to fit and Kris has started making frowning faces on the mornings they come to breakfast conspicuously at the same time.

Winter falls along with a thick coat of snow on the ground. The pack tumbles out of the house, wrapped in scarves and mittens and down coats. Lu Han watches, laughing under his breath, as Baekhyun and Chanyeol shift at full sprints only to roll into the ground to make snow-wolf angels and Minseok pelts Jongdae in the face with a first full of snow.

Lu Han tucks his jacket tightly around himself for warmth where he stands off to the side, his ears and neck bare to the cold. Arms come around him from behind, tucking him into the flaps of a coat stretched to fit around two. Lu Han knows, knew before he felt, that it’s Sehun. Lu Han leans back into the warmth with a soft smile, Sehun squeezing him into his chest. The tip of his nose is cold where it snuffles under the hair at Lu Han’s nape, sending little shivers through him.

Sehun is sixteen and his tall shoulders curl protectively over Lu Han’s.

-

Sehun is seventeen and takes his first blood.

Lu Han tries to argue that he’s still too young when it becomes apparent hostilities with the neighboring pack are reaching a breaking point and Kris means to take Sehun with the betas to deal with it. But the look Kris sends him lets Lu Han know he’s overstepped his bounds too far this time.

He catches Sehun’s wrist as he goes to head out into the night with the others. Lu Han hadn’t thought of what he’d meant to say, futile pleas to be safe or not go, but the words die in his throat. He looks at Sehun, looks for the scared teary eyed little boy and sees none of it in the man standing there. His chest is broad, powerful, his eyes tinged red from the waxing moon, and his brow is furrowed at Lu Han in a fond confusion.

“Comeback,” is all Lu Han manages, his voice lilting up at the end like it’s a question. He feels useless and frustrated and, for one of the rarer times, desperately resentful of his place in life.

Sehun frowns like Lu Han is being silly. He twists his hand around to circle Lu Han’s wrist in his fingers and tugs it up to his mouth. He lays a kiss to the inside of it.

“I will,” and then he’s turning out the door, leaving Lu Han to listen for the low growl as he shifts, feeling flayed open and shook up.

-

Sehun does come home, clothes shredded apart and blood streaked up his arms. But he’s _there_. When the pack ambles back to the den as dawn creeps over the horizon, Lu Han is still awake.

Lu Han wordlessly draws Sehun a hot bath to ease the ache he knows he must feel in his bones, the way he used to when Sehun would fall from trees and scrape up his knees, even though he knows Sehun’s far too old to be coddled like this.

Sehun strips of his shirt and pants and for the first time Lu Han feels the instinct to guiltily look away. Sehun is all legs and pale skin stretched over sinew as he steps into the bath. The steam from the water makes everything warm and blurred around the edges and Lu Han turns to leave before his head gets too muddled.

Sehun grabs his shirtsleeve. Hesitant and insistent all at once Sehun tugs him around and Lu Han wishes he had a better instinct for self preservation.

He tugs at Lu Han’s hand and lays it on his own head like he wants it there just to nuzzle into. But when Lu Han settles his touch, despite himself, into a soft stoke Sehun hisses with a wince. It’s then that Lu Han sees what he hadn’t before, a jagged gash just along Sehun’s hairline.

Lu Han runs a thumb along the torn skin and this staggering wave of _angerfearworry_ washes through him and he doesn’t know what to do with any of it because Sehun isn’t his in any sense of the word despite the _mineminemine_ pounding in his head.

He bends to lick the wound clean, copper on his tongue and Sehun’s hitched breathing in his ear.

-

That night Lu Han let’s Sehun curl around him in their sleep. Lu Han hasn’t been the taller of them for years now but this is the first time Sehun moves to spoon up behind him, folding himself around Lu Han’s smaller frame and chest rumbling contentedly.

-

They’re wrestling when Sehun bites him. He’s getting stronger by the day and likes to show it off, clutching Jongin in headlocks he can’t struggle out of, throwing Baekhyun bodily over his shoulder when he feels like it, tackling Lu Han to the ground at random times seemingly just to have his hands on him.

Shade casts over them from the towering oak they’re roughhousing in the grass under. Lu Han’s breathless and giddy, frenziedly grappling for the upper hand for the sake of his pride, but Sehun’s palms are big and warm and pin his wrists easily. Lu Han’s still laughing open mouthed when Sehun goes still above him.

There’re beads of sweat pebbling down the line Sehun’s bare throat that catch in the sunlight but Lu Han’s eyes are drawn to Sehun’s own. He can feel the way they’re tracing the features of his face like a physical touch, Lu Han’s laughter dying out to a heady silence only filled by their panted breathing. Sehun’s stare falls lower, Lu Han knows it’s on the faint scar crossing his bottom lip and he pulls it into his mouth unconsciously.

That’s when Sehun swiftly ducks in. Lu Han’s head thunks back into the dirt, air stuttering out of his lungs as Sehun’s teeth close around the muscle at the base of his neck. It’s not the playful nip he’s expecting. Sehun clamps down _hard_ , not enough to break skin but Lu Han yelps from the shock of sharp pain.

He’s benumbed by it at first, body gone limp and docile by instinct like it thinks he’s about to be mounted. Sehun’s tongue licks out to lave at the bite then, soothing the ache, and Lu Han’s hips buck up helplessly, a visceral heat punching low in his gut. He gasps out desperately when he realizes Sehun is _marking_ him, makes him realize in dismay that he should be fighting against this, putting a stop to it. Sehun doesn’t know what he’s doing. What it means.

“Sehun!” He heaves, trying to make his voice firm and steady, tries to wrench his hands from Sehun’s grip, “Sehun, stop. _Stop_. You need to get off of me.”

Sehun sits up then, on his heels so he’s still crouched over the center of Lu Han. He by no means always does what Lu Han says but he must hear the panic in Lu Han’s voice and realize they’re not playing any more. He tilts his head like a puppy confused about what he’s being scolded for and Lu Han tries to hold onto his resolve.

Sehun’s fingers trace the ring of red that has to be flowering across Lu Han’s collarbone. “Did I hurt you?” he asks softly but like he already knows that’s not what it’s about.

Lu Han fights the impulse to tilt his head back, to bare his neck to Sehun’s bite if he wished to give it again. “Sehun,” he says seriously, needs to know what Sehun thought he was doing. He swallows past the dryness in his throat and blinks against the burning in his eyes. “Sehun, why did you do that?”

Sehun rolls of him then to flop down in the grass but stays close with his body curved towards Lu Han’s, chin digging into Lu Han’s shoulder. “You always tell me I’m going to be like Kris one day,” Sehun mumbles sounding doleful. Lu Han nods falteringly and has a terrible moment of heartrending comprehension.

Zitao had gone into his first heat only the week before. That had been expected. When the betas lounging around the house all peaked their heads in interest, scenting the air in deep pulls and Baekhyun and Jongdae immediately scrambling over each other to be the first one to the stairs, Kris had let out an inhuman snarl that froze them all in place. That was less expected.

It’s rare for an alpha to take such a fledgling mate but Kris is young himself and Lu Han hadn’t missed the signs, soft eyes under a furrowed brow at Zitao’s whining and close mouthed indulgences. Zitao didn’t emerged from Kris’ (and now effectively his) room for a good number of days later.

His wrists weren’t ringed with bruises and most of his visible skin was still the clear dewy pale it always was because Kris is nothing if not guardedly controlled. But Jongin and Sehun were still on him in moments, poking and prodding him with curious eyes like he’s become a different person, and Zitao grinned looking pleased with himself when Kris rumbled out a growl of warning from down the hall. Because sitting above Zitao’s very deliberately loose shirt collar were the distinct teeth marks of their alpha.

“Zitao said it made him Kris’,” Sehun’s tongue darts out to wet the corners of his mouth in that distracting habit he has. Lu Han’s not sure if it makes it better or worse that Sehun knew what he was doing, that he’d done it with intent. And Lu Han had to have been kidding himself if he thought Joonmyun hadn’t covered it in Sehun’s studies.

Lu Han swallows thickly and sits up, “Sehun I can’t be yours.”

Sehun stays laying on the ground but he kicks a heel into the dirt like he’s trying not to act petulant and failing miserably, “Why not?”

Tiny pebbles dig into the heels of his palms as Lu Han pushes himself to his feet. He brushes them off on his thighs and thinks of all the reasons with a tightening behind his ribs. Sehun knows damn well the biggest reason, the one that makes Lu Han different from the other omegas, so he’s just being difficult. He looks down at Sehun with the sun over the horizon cutting into his eyes. Seun has his arms folded over his chest and his face turned away from Lu Han, fringe falling over his brow.

 _You’re so young_ , Lu Han thinks. Says, “I’m too old for you.” And turns to walk back towards the house, _I shouldn’t want you_.

-

Jongin comes of age, and though he’s been nosing insistently around Kyungsoo lately, it’s Lu Han who goes into heat soon after. Kris leaves on a hunt with Sehun and Yixing early that morning and Lu Han doesn’t think it’s a coincidence.

Lu Han lets Jongin take him on his hands and knees for the first time, groaning in relief and dropping to his elbows as Jongin fucks into him with inexperienced thrusts. But there’s a burning under his skin that doesn’t abate with Jongin rutting Lu Han’s release out of him.

Lu Han’s needy and feverish as he rolls them to clamber on top of Jongin, sinking down and snagging Jongin into his body as Jongin’s fingers clutch at his thighs and his face mottles up. Lu Han works his hips down, taking his own pleasure from Jongin splitting him open, and through the haze he can see Jongin’s eyes are screwed shut, mouth hanging open and panting out soft noises, like his mind is somewhere else. With someone else.

Lu Han’s hand runs up his own side, savaging his bottom lip between his teeth at the coiling he can feel low in his belly, and it finds its way to the bite still branded into his neck. His fingers press down to feel the scald of it as he shakes apart.

-

Jongin is inexpert and fervent and leaves marks scattered across Lu Han’s body he can’t easily hide.

-

Sehun is eighteen and runs away from home. It isn’t the first time. He used to pull the same kind of stunts in his early teens when the reality of his future responsibilities would creep in too close and become too real. He’d steal out in the early mornings, a good chunk of their pantry going missing with him, but Kris would never send a search party after him. Something like sympathy glinting in his eyes when he’d mutter, “He has to realize where his place is for himself.”

Lu Han would stay up, but the moon was never too evident in the sky before the window of Lu Han’s room would jimmy open, short claws grappling into the wood of the sill to pull the rest of Sehun through. Lu Han pretends to be asleep for posterity’s sake, not to encourage Sehun by having him think he’d been awake worrying, but purposefully rolls to the edge of the bed so there’s space. Sehun never says much, just slips under the covers to curl into Lu Han’s side, mumbles _sorry_ into the skin of Lu Han’s neck.

Lu Han pretends to sleep each night as Sehun doesn’t come back.

-

There’s hot foul breath gusting in Lu Han’s face and meaty fingers constricting around his throat. He can feel the sick slice of claws across his skin and he really wasn’t expecting to die this young.

Hostilities with the neighboring pack had been escalating lately but Lu Han hadn’t thought to be concerned about it when out walking the woods, still hoping he’ll hear a lisping call of his name and Sehun will hop down from his perch in a tree and it’ll be like he hasn’t been gone for months. Lu Han realizes now that was a mistake.

It’s a beta and he’s hulking, barely phased by Lu Han’s attempts to thrash free. Lu Han gathers as much air into his lungs as he can with his windpipe being crushed, even if his howl travels back to the pack there’s no way they’ll get here in time. But it would be nice if they could at least find his body.

Lu Han squeezes his eyes shut, dropping his mouth open, and his body suddenly jolts to the side. The weight on his chest is gone but the claws slash along his neck as they leave and Lu Han chokes on air.

There’re animalistic noises coming from outside of his vision that’s going white. Snarls, a struggle and the sound of flesh being torn. Lu Han feels a wet warmth trickling down his collarbone he suspects is his own blood but he’s not too eager to confirm it. He rolls onto his side from where he’d been pinned down to a large boulder, ready to slink away while whoever saved him is distracted if need be. But when he stands to a crouch the person whirls to face him.

It’s Sehun. There’s gore in his claws, smeared down his chin from his descended fangs, and the slumped body at his feet isn’t moving.

-

Sehun carries him on his back to a nearby stream, cleaning the blood off himself before attending to Lu Han. He rends the bottom swath of his shirt to ball up in the water and press to Lu Han’s throat with gentle human fingers. He licks the wound clean when the bleeding eases and Lu Han’s breathing has evened out. He’s quiet and intent and there’s so many things Lu Han wants to say, to _yell_ , but he feels so drained none of it makes it past his lips.

Sehun moves to hoist him up again but Lu Han waves him off, resolute that he’s fine. Sehun’s mouth tightens but he just loops an arm around Lu Han’s waist and tugs Lu Han’s across his shoulders.

-

Some of the pack is lazing on the front porch when Lu Han and Sehun trudge out from the tree cover of the forest. Yixing sits up, his face going from it’s normal spacey to rapt, and Jongdae calls, “Oho, look what the wolf dragged in.” Minseok rolls his eyes, wallops him in the arm and Jongdae yelps, but Minseok must see the red marring Lu Han’s neck because in an instant he’s vaulting the porch to take Lu Han’s weight off Sehun.

Sehun leaves Lu Han with Kyungsoo to get cleaned up with actual antiseptic and bandages, growling something like “ _where’s Kris_ ” before stalking out of the room.

-

That night Kris berates Lu Han for going out on his own and Lu Han bites back the _I’m not a child_ that wants so badly to come out. Kris has been worried and strained around the edges lately and Lu Han knows it’s not all really about Lu Han wandering off but he stays quiet. Kris sighs when he runs out of breath for words and rubs a hand over Lu Han’s head in a semblance of a pet that Lu Han takes as an apology.

Kris is halfway out the door when he turns, bracing his arm on the doorframe. “Sehun wants to start a war over this, you know.” Kris sounds somewhere between exasperated and proud. “He says he won’t stand for people hurting what’s _his_.” Lu Han plays with his fingers, picking at the fabric of his bedspread, not sure exactly what reaction Kris is looking for, and tries to suppress the instinctual contentment that comes with the thought of Sehun being possessive of him.

“Lu Han,” he glances up and Kris has this cautiously empathetic look on his face, “you know keeping the line of the pack going is important...”

“I know,” Lu Han cuts him off. He doesn’t want to have this conversation. Having it once when he came of age was enough. He deals best with his issues and bitterness when he keeps them buried and continues on like they don’t exist, “I’m... I’m dealing with it...him.” Lu Han bites his lip. He isn’t.

Kris frowns. “No, that’s not what... I’m saying that... Yeah, it’s important but there’s more than one way of doing it.” There’s a pause the sounds deliberate. “Nothing wrong with taking in strays is there?” Kris gives him a pointed look and closes the door.

-

Sehun steals into his room that night, crawling under the covers and murmuring an apology like he used to. It makes Lu Han realize he hadn’t actually thanked Sehun for saving him, but he has a feeling Sehun would only be peeved he felt the need to say it. He just let’s Sehun nuzzle his head insistently against his chest, knows the betas will be smelling Sehun on him for days.

Sehun curls around him and Lu Han wonders if he can actually allow himself to have this.

-

He and Sehun are making lunch in the kitchen a few days later, bright afternoon sun streaming through the windows making everything glow. Lu Han stretches across for a cabinet and Sehun catches his wrist and brings it to his nose.

Sehun’s eyes go lidded as he breathes in. “Your heat’s coming soon,” he says softly. Lu Han flushes warm down to his toes that Sehun _knows_. He sounds as if he’s trying to state it like an objective fact, something that doesn’t mean anything to him. But, eyes downcast, he hasn’t dropped Lu Han’s wrist and his other hand is clenched on the counter. Lu Han’s never had to struggle to read Sehun.

Lu Han gently tugs his hand away with a shaky exhale, nodding, and goes back to chopping bits of meat.

Sehun curls his empty fingers in the air and he can see Sehun’s throat bob even though Lu Han’s fixedly watching his own hands work. He feels Sehun’s eyes move from the side of his face to Lu Han’s hands as well and Lu Han knows the frown that will be pulling at Sehun’s mouth if he were to look.

Sehun reaches over and calmly takes the blade from Lu Han. He wipes it on a towel and sets it aside neatly. Lu Han tries to steady his empty hands.

Sehun catches one of them in his own so their fingers slot together easily and then Sehun is turning and backing Lu Han into the corner of the countertop with slow steps closer. Sehun’s unfocused eyes are on a point just above Lu Han’s chin as he moves in and Lu Han sees everything like it’s sped up and in stop motion all at once. Sehun’s lowered eyelashes casting spidery shadows across his cheekbones, Sehun’s shiny bottom lip bitten between his teeth, the flush steeping up Sehun’s neck.

Sehun’s eyes flicker to meet Lu Han’s and he knows this is when he should push Sehun away, disentangle their fingers, slip away and find a door to lock in between them. Sehun eyes lower again. Lu Han breathes out softly and tilts his face up.

Sehun ducks in and kisses him so very carefully, a warm press of his lips to the center of Lu Han’s mouth like he thinks this is all he’ll ever get and wants for it to be perfect. Lu Han squeezes their palms together as Sehun’s lips slot between his on an exhale and Sehun’s hand slides up Lu Han's chest to cup his neck. Lu Han reaches up to circle Sehun’s wrist in his fingers, his thumb stroking over the thin skin where he can feel Sehun’s pulse thrumming and alive.

Sehun’s lips work against his in soft hesitant kisses that leave Lu Han light-headed and warm all over. Sehun’s other hand drops his to fit to Lu Han’s cheek, tips Lu Han’s chin up as their mouths move insistently together.

Lu Han can’t remember the last time he was kissed like this. Simply to be kissed, earnest and deliberate, thorough like Sehun wants him to remember everything. Lu Han’s fingers curl in the hem of Sehun’s shirt and pull him closer with a needy mewl.

Sehun surges forward so Lu Han’s back is bowed, sucking Lu Han’s bottom lip into his mouth, before pulling himself back, the air between them filled with their panted breathing. Sehun steals one more lingering peck that has Lu Han screwing his eyes shut to savor it, then angles his head away so only their foreheads are pressed together and Lu Han can’t catch his mouth again even when he whines and chases after it with his own.

Lu Han sees Sehun’s throat work as he swallows and shuts his eyes, “I won’t say sorry because I’m not. Not for doing it.” Sehun’s voice is low and rasping in a way Lu Han’s never heard, the heat in his tummy flaring at the sound, wants to hear it with Sehun’s mouth pressed to his ear. Sehun’s chest pressed to his back. “I just wanted... if you still won’t have me I’ll leave,” Sehun goes to pull farther away and Lu Han fights not to sway forward after him, “I’ll need to. Because when it comes and someone else goes for you I don’t think I know what I’ll do. And I don’t want it to be me... if you don’t want it to be.”

Sehun steps back as he tries to finds his words, as if to give Lu Han room to think, room Lu Han doesn’t want. Sehun had come of age while he was away from them and Lu Han knew something would have to give between them. Or that another omega might go into heat before him and have Sehun, an ugly wretched feeling twisting inside Lu Han at the thought of it.

Lu Han watches Sehun edge further and further away from him, defeat creeping into the slump of his shoulder and the crumple of his mouth, and wants so desperately for him to be closer. To be tucked into the curl of Sehun’s shoulders as he presses a smile into his neck.

He reaches out.

-

Lu Han lays his palms to the flat of Sehun’s back, the jut of his shoulderblades, his knee hitching up Sehun’s naked hip. Sehun lays his teeth to the skin of Lu Han’s neck and the world goes white. 


End file.
